As a start, let us agree that those who are self-employed and those who have employment contracts for institutions they don’t own are all service providers. The contracts are structured and legalised differently, but both get paid for adding value to their clients.
Let us also establish that networking is viewed as one of the essential factors for building a successful career or business.
Many of us think that networking means approaching strangers, making friends, and selling them your personality, rather like being a salesperson. Many of us are not confident in sales, and this is probably not the best way to approach networking. We make things difficult for ourselves when we do this.
Instead, we should remember that networks are relationships. What forms a large part of networking is the ability to start, build and sustain relationships.
We have been building relationships our whole lives.
The different relationships we have with various people in our lives have different flavours. None are identical. This is because a relationship depends on the individuals who are part of it. Their personalities, beliefs, insecurities, past experiences and other factors are the ingredients that mix and intertwine and give the relationship its unique flavour.
When we look back at the relationships like friendships that we have, a pattern emerges for the ones we have had for some time and which we consider to be strong.
1. Shared interests
It is unlikely that you will share every hobby and enjoy the same activities, but finding points of commonality is what makes us want to spend time together. These may be physical activities such as running, hiking, golfing or fishing. It may be topics for discussion and debate, such as religion or politics. It may be the shared love of soccer, even if the teams we support differ. What’s important is that you have similar interests which you are willing to prioritise when spending time, energy and money.
2. Time spent together
You must make yourself available. You must spend time together, building shared memories and getting to know each other. Once the relationship has been established, the need for frequency may lessen. What is important is to stay connected and get together now and again.
3. Similar values
This is not about religious or spiritual beliefs. Instead, it is values that we ascribe to a person’s character. It is also the value which you give to your family, well-being, career, and hobbies.
3. Respect and acceptance
Respect means many things, including the willingness to understand and accept people as they are, treat them as equals, and honour their time and their right to be the way they are.
5. Trust
When you relate, you build trust. The bigger the trust, the deeper the relationship and vice versa. You trust the person’s intentions towards you and the value they assign to your relationship, and you trust that they will not disappoint you when it comes to the things central to the relationship. Reciprocity is also essential for trust.
These things, when put together, help to start, build, and sustain the relationship.
Some are more important at the different stages of the relationship, but they are all important.
When we offer our products or services, we may think we are offering them to institutions, but institutions are represented by people. In my experience, people will do business with those with whom they relate well.
When you pitch your business proposal or attend a job interview, the result will depend on the potential or likelihood of building a good working relationship. Your ability to do your work is only one aspect of building trust.
You will hear people saying that business deals are discussed on golf courses or in cycling clubs. People spend time together doing activities they enjoy. The nature of the activities may create strain which reveals their character and values. It is through these shared experiences that they build trust and their relationships are strengthened.
You don’t always have to start new relationships. You can begin where you are with what you have. It’s much easier.
We already have networks because we have relationships. What we may need to do is improve our ability to get help from our networks in building our careers and businesses.
It’s about reaching out and letting your network know what you need.
The following illustration demonstrates the principles discussed here.
Sazi Ndwandwa is a business and leadership coach. He enjoys working with leaders who are transitioning into roles. This includes working with their teams.
Sazi is a seasoned Chartered Accountant (South Africa), director and strategy facilitator.
His experience includes board membership with various companies and non-profit organisations. He has a strong passion for unearthing talent and actualising dreams.
He lectures university students and works with funders to complement the financial support given to small businesses with skills development support to optimise small business success.
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